"Family, Work, and the Church"

Introduction: In one of the Mission Impossible movies, Tom’s Cruise’s character, Ethan Hunt, gets married, yet his wife has no idea that he works for the IMF, the agency that he works for that is super secretive. That changes very quickly, as she is kidnapped because an enemy wants to use her against Ethan.

The issue at hand was that Ethan thought he could separate what he did away from his home life. And we today in our Christian culture, can do the same as well. What do I mean by that? That we treat our homes and workplaces as separated form our lives as Christians. Does that mean you act completely different than you do at church? Not necessarily, but often we think too often tend to separate the “secular” from the “spiritual.” And that even is seen, even unintentionally, by how we lead our homes and our lives as a whole.

Today, we will see how Ephesians continues the “household” implications of the Gospel and how the sacrificial death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus affects all of life.

CTS: The home and the workplace should be strongholds of discipleship toward Jesus.

I. Make Disciples in the Home (1-4)

Children

A. Value of children (1a)

I begin with this because of the importance of our understanding as biblical Christians why children are so valuable and part of God’s plan. We live in a current culture today that minimizes the value of children. Those that have many children nowadays are seen as weird, or even to the point now, that children are seen as more of a burden than a joy. We see in the current uptick of arguments for abortion are based not on the factual biological truth that a human being at conception, and instead, the argument is over whether it’s a woman’s body that trumps the body of a child in the womb, removing that there is a distinct human being involved with its own body. Personal autonomy is king in our culture. Children are often seen as a burden rather than the gift that God has shown them to be.

The Scriptures show the value of children (though this is not to speak against those that deal with infertility, as though you are less of a person because you can’t have children.)

Married couples are commanded to have children (if possible)

Genesis 1:28 ESV

28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

The inherent value and life of children from conception is clear

Psalm 139:13 ESV

13 For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.

Job 10:11–12 ESV

11 You clothed me with skin and flesh, and knit me together with bones and sinews. 12 You have granted me life and steadfast love, and your care has preserved my spirit.

Jeremiah was set aside before his birth:

Jeremiah 1:5 ESV

5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”

John the Baptist was filled with Spirit from the womb and leapt in the presence of Mary, Elizabeth considered that her baby was a full person, the Lord himself.

Luke 1:39–45 ESV

39 In those days Mary arose and went with haste into the hill country, to a town in Judah, 40 and she entered the house of Zechariah and greeted Elizabeth. 41 And when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the baby leaped in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit, 42 and she exclaimed with a loud cry, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb! 43 And why is this granted to me that the mother of my Lord should come to me? 44 For behold, when the sound of your greeting came to my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. 45 And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.”

They are a heritage from God

Psalm 127:3–5 ESV

3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. 4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. 5 Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Taken all together, we should view children not as burdens but as God created creatures, just like you and me were at one point, and that the admonitions we are about to see point to the goodness of the family structure that God set aside from the beginning. A spiritual heritage of the home is clear and commanding from Scripture. This is why abortion is unequivocally wrong in every circumstance. But it is also why we must offer a better way, and also the church protect and nurture children not only in voting at the polls, but offering hope and grace to parents in situations that have brought about children. The church also needs to be a bastion of grace for those that have chosen abortions and are facing the guilt and shame of their actions, that we point them to the cross and the grace of Christ. Yes, vote, but even more importantly, we must put our money where our mouth is, and support struggling women and men, help with adoptions, buy diapers and formula, and be a family for many that don’t have anywhere else to go. Why? Because children are God’s incredible gift and heritage, image-bearers of God.

B. The position of children in the family (1b)

Paul writes to the church, and no doubt, is assuming the gathering of the church as he writes. That includes children here. One implication of this is that there was an expectation of children to be in the life of the church, in the midst of gathered worship. Even in their messiness, their fidgety selves, and their whines and cries, children are seen as integral and part of the church gathered. So, he addresses them here, fully expecting that they will hear these words, and reiterated in their own homes.

Obedience: Obedience here is different than submission, actually showing a hierarchy of authority. Wives weren’t commanded to obey, they were commanded to submit, which we talked about is integral in a loving and nurturing relationship between man and wife, submitting to the servant leadership of the husband. Children on the other hand are to obey their parents rules of the household, as this is integral to their growing as a human being and as an image-bearer of God. This is natural to our world, written on the hearts of mankind.

But that obedience is rooted in the Lord. As they obey their parents, children are obeying Christ. Does that mean that no matter what, children should obey everything that their parents tell them to do? The exception to that command would be anything that is sinful or would go against God’s commands. If a child believes and trusts in Jesus, but the parents are unbelievers, and were to bar the child from worshiping with a church, that would be an instance where I believe disobedience would be necessary. Or anything sinful or oppressive. But overall, the child should obey in all things that their parents command. Children do not rule the home, but parents do.

But even in that in the Lord is important. The gospel implications are full at work for all generations. As Jesus was a child, he obeyed perfectly his parents. He obeyed His Father all the way to the cross, to pay for the penalty of our disobedience. For children, for all people, we realize that our righteousness is found in the obedience of Jesus Himself, and that we now live our lives, children or adults, to obey Christ in all that He desires and asks us to do.

C. The Scriptural basis of the command (2)

The command is rooted in Scripture, rooted in the Decalogue (10 Commandments). The fifth command there, and reminds us that this obedience is nothing new, but always an assumption in God’s kingdom and His people. Children, you obey because God commands us to do. Jesus did so. We do so. The Bible is our supreme authority in all things. When we read our Bibles and we read about God’s plan for us, and when we obey it, we obey our Lord Jesus, the one who died to save us from our sin and disobedience.

D. The promise of obedience (3)

Rooted in that command is a promise. Paul calls it the first commandment with a promise. Some have tried to discredit Paul by saying that the second commandment has a promise, but that’s not the case. That phrase is related to the character of God. Here, this is the first commandment with a promise. Here in the ESV, the translation retains “the land,” but other major translations say “on the earth.” I think the latter is better, because Paul is communicating to the new kingdom, not the theocracy of the nation of Israel in a physical land, that they would live long on the earth. Also, this promise is not necessarily individual, but rather, corporate. When the family operates as it should, when the children obey the authority of the Lord put over them in their parents, the fabric of that community is strong. This biblical view of marriage and the family will stand up to the wiles of Satan and to degradation. This setup that God has is for the good of children and for the good of the family. His ways are better than our ways.

Parents:

The command now shifts to the fathers, which doesn’t mean mothers are off the hook here. Knowing that Fathers are seen as the spiritual head of the home, he begins to command them.

A. Don’t provoke them

Paul is relaying to the parents that their authority over their children is not to constantly berate and suppress their individuality. That every little annoyance that they do or imperfect thing that they try to do is a means to insult, berate, or scold them. Here, the parents are meant to point them to the general admonitions of the Lord, instead of nitpicking and holding a heavy hand on them. There are those that have had to had the tightest of grips on their children and have watched them slip through their fingers because of the animosity and hatred that was built up over the years of the overbearing and overly critical parent. As our Father is patient with us, we are to be patient with our children as well. We show grace because we have been shown grace. We apologize when we’ve done wrong because we are imperfect parents.

B. Disciple them

Instead of provoking them to anger, the call of the fathers, parents, is that they would disciple their children. Two fold aspect here is a discipline for showing what the wrong way is and to stop them from those destructive behaviors (good discipline is for their good, not because we are angry) and to instruct them in the Lord.

Overall, this means that the home must be the primary place of discipleship. Your children need you as parents to disciple them in the ways of the Lord. They need fathers that open the Word and teach them about Jesus. They need parents that pray over them, for them, and with them. They need a constant diet and place where God’s instructions and God’s grace is seen. You cannot put off discipleship to the church. The church is an important part of their discipleship, but it is only part. Me and Chris Lindsey cannot disciple your kids as they should be discipled. We can certainly be a part of it, helping, counseling, and equipping you to be that discipler. Even your child is here every time the doors are open at the church, participating in every worship service, children’s ministry, or youth ministry…its still not enough. 4-5 hours of church a week versus 40 hours of week of school, and who knows how much social media and other media. The question we must ask is this: what are our children being discipled by?

The Word, prayer, spiritual disciplines, living a life consistent with our beliefs about the supremacy of Christ and honoring him with our lives is crucial for your family. What you dedicate your lives to will indicate to your children what’s most important. If sports teams and schedules are more important than time in the Word, prayer, and in the church, you’ll communicate that. Weekends at the beach, mountains, or wherever over consistency and dedication to the gathered worship of the church communicates what’s most important.

So, what can you do? Know the Word yourself. Read it. Study it. Teach it. One way to start is something like a solid storybook Bible. Then start teaching your kids how to read the Bible for themselves. Pray for them, with them, and then teach them how to pray. Be there for them, show grace, live grace, love, cherish, and nourish them in the things of God.

II. Work Hard for Jesus (5-9)

Paul continues his address to households, and for the church at Ephesus, this included for some bondservants. What Paul isn’t condoning here in Ephesians here or anywhere else is the actual act of slavery. This doesn’t mean that Paul or the Bible views slavery as ok. But we must remember what kind of environment that Paul was writing to. The early church was fledgling and was not a force that would change anytime soon the act of slavery. Here, instead, Paul is addressing the reality of what is bondservants, but rather than continue in the status quo, he encourages these bondservants and their masters to act differently than those around them because of the Gospel.

For us today, we can take these principles and apply them to how we should honor our working authorities and how those with authority in the workplace should treat those employees under them.

Workers

The overriding idea of the worker because of what Jesus has done, our lives are completely surrendered to his will and purpose, this has implications for our work. If all of life is under the lordship of Jesus (which it is), then how we then work will change. Here is the way that work changes for us.

A. Obey with respect

First of all, Paul speaks of these earthly masters as ones that we should honor and respect. Fear and trembling is not one where we crawl up into the fetal position when they come around, but as we also respect our Lord and Savior Jesus, we respect the authority that God has placed over us in our work. Honor your boss with respect, even in times where it may not be easy to do so.

B. Obey with sincerity

Our sincerity of work is rooted in Jesus himself. So when we work, it should come from the inner most part of our being. Where God has placed us and called us to work should come with a desire of sincerity to honor Jesus himself. Work is good, rooted in creation order as well. As God called Adam and Eve and all of mankind to have dominion and work his creation, we do so wherever we are with great sincerity.

Martin Luther King Jr once said this: “If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.”

C. Obey because of Jesus

And that sincerity is rooted in our obedience to Jesus. When we see our work as a means to glorify Jesus, it should cause us to do it well, to honor others. As has often been said before, and it bears repeating, God’s people should be the hardest workers in their fields. How much does it speak of your faith when you do everything for His glory. We naturally want to honor the one whom he work for, and Jesus is the one we work for ultimately.

1 Corinthians 10:31 ESV

31 So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

D. Obey publicly and privately

This is a matter of integrity. Paul encouraged these servants to work not to please-man, but ultimately to please God. That also means that they understood that their work, even when it wasn’t being watched, mattered. What you do behind closed doors is just as important as what you do in the open. We don’t work just to please they eyes of our supervisors or our bosses or coworkers, but we work diligently under the watchful eye of our Lord.

E. Obey looking forward

And our work is rendered ultimately to God. Yes, your bosses judgment and acceptability of the work matters, but ultimately, we work to please the Lord. Sometimes, your boss or your coworkers won’t respect your hard work. You may have done absolutely all that you could, with every ounce of blood, sweat, and tears, and all you may get is a pat on the back and a “good job.” You may not get a promotion. You may not get rewarded. And as much as that may frustrate us, we remember this that our work is to glorify Jesus ultimately. He saw our work, and with that work, He is honored. We will be rewarded one day. Serve Jesus through your work, to Him, and as a witness to Him to the world around you.

Masters

And yet this doesn’t leave the bosses or supervisors in the room off the hook either. As part of that household, and as part of life today, Christian…if you are privileged and put into a place where you manage and lead people…you likewise should show great respect to those under you. As was made clear to husbands and parents, your position is never to rule with an iron fist, but to respect those that are under your care and supervision with respect and love.

What does this mean? Don’t mistreat God’s image-bearers. If you own a business or are someone that has authority over work, you should never hurt your workers. You should never over-work them. You should pay them well as best you can and have authority to do so, you should honor them with times of weekly rest and yearly rest, and you should treat them as though they are equal to you. Because they are. They are image-bearers of God. That doesn’t mean you let them run roughshod over you. You will have to have some degree of authority to lead and to teach and to make sure work gets done. But do it well, thinking of how Jesus might lead in your situation!

Conclusion:

What we have seen is Paul bring forth a vision of household that reflects the Gospel in our world. It reflects the relationship between Jesus and His church. Each of these things admonitions points us to that Gospel relationship between Jesus and us.

The home should be a stronghold of discipleship. It should be a stronghold of honor and love between children and parents. Our workplaces should be a place of reflection of our relationship as servants of the Lord Jesus. Everything and everywhere should point to Jesus. Our loving guidance of our children should point them to the loving Jesus Christ, who gave His life for our precious children and grandchildren. What greater work can we do than to raise them up in the ways of Jesus? What greater work can we do but honor Jesus in our workplaces, whether secular, governmental, or in ministry? Because that’s who it is all about anyway. It’s all about Jesus. And we do all things to the praise of His glory.